Archive for December, 2015

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing Erotic Romance



By Gail Pruszkowski

Romance novels are all about the relationship. Whether the genre is historical, paranormal or contemporary the focus is on the characters and how they overcome all obstacles to be together. Erotic romance grows more popular every day proving that many women like hot and steamy sex scenes in their love stories. We’re not talking pornography. Readers still want an engrossing plot and well-developed characters. But after almost unbearable sexual tension, dreadful conflict and emotional angst the big payoff is the love scene. Today’s readers don’t want the bedroom door slammed in their faces when the characters finally have sex.

Those who want to spice up their writing will find a wealth of advice in THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO WRITING EROTIC ROMANCE by Alison Kent. Ms. Kent has written more than thirty novels and novellas, including “The Beach Alibi,” “Larger than Life,” “The Bane Affair,” “Deep Breath” and “The Perfect Stranger.” She is eminently qualified to help writers create the hot delicious love scenes that readers want.

Her book covers everything from alternative lifestyles to world-building. In chapter one you’ll learn how to develop your characters, plot your story and create sexual tension. What about safe sex? It’s in chapter twenty-two. Need a lesson on seductive conversation? You’ll find it in chapter sixteen. Worried about your comfort zone? Check out chapter seventeen.

Much of the author’s advice can be applied to any romance genre. But be forewarned the main focus is erotic romance and writing sex scenes. The topics are presented in a candid and forthright manner that’s not meant to titillate, but to educate.

Ms. Kent includes a glossary, a list of publishers of erotic romance, resources and recommended reading. A roundtable discussion with eighteen authors is very enlightening.

If you’re interested in turning up the heat in your own writing I highly recommend a copy of THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO WRITING EROTIC ROMANCE.

Publisher: Alpha (September 5, 2006) Paperback: 336 pages ISBN-13: 978-1592575466

Gail writes romance, paranormal and otherwise as Gale Stanley.
CALL OF THE WILDS – Available now at Amazon & Bookstrand
SILENT KNIGHTS – coming October 2010 – Silver Publishing
MATING CALL – coming November 2010 – Siren-Bookstrand
POINT OF BEGINNING – coming January 2011 – Silver Publishing

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Talking Dirty is Hot Foreplay – Learn Erotic Talk For More Exciting Pleasure





Talking Dirty is Hot Foreplay – Learn Erotic Talk For More Exciting Pleasure
By Michael Kortekaas

Ever wonder why phone sex is such a big business? Guys spend many dollars a minute for hot, dirty talk from lusty women. And women swoon over a sexy voice and devour romance novels with descriptive scenes of seduction. Although most women and men tend to be shy expressing their erotic desires, we all love to hear a sexy voice focused on arousing us. With a few techniques, you can learn how to use your voice as a powerful aural aphrodisiac. Talking dirty is hot foreplay when you discover your special language of love.

Talking dirty is not just about using naughty or even filthy words. It is about the emotions and desires you want to convey and express. Depending upon the context, you may want to scream profanities in unbridled passion or whisper the same words in public as a flirtatious hint of your frisky intentions. Consider the sultry whisper of a seductress, the harsh command of a dominatrix or the ecstatic moans of a porn star. You can stimulate your lover’s erotic imagination with explicit and descriptive detail or seduce them with simple phrases spoken in a sexy tone.

To be effective, your erotic talk needs to seem natural to you so that you feel both comfortable and confident in what you say and how you say it. This comes from practice and by becoming more aware of what you both like. Some words and phrases may feel and sound awkward at first. Here are a few ways to practice talking dirty:

  • When you are reading or watching a movie, keep track of sexy words used in romantic or arousing scenes. Make a list of erotic phrases you can use and, when alone, practice saying them out loud in a sexy voice. Get familiar with how the words sound and how they make you feel.
  • Get yourself some erotic literature that includes descriptive terms for various body parts and sex activities. Include material your lover would read. Read short, steamy passages out loud and experiment with different ways to make them sound seductive as you speak them. Try whispering, lowering or raising your tone, using a throaty purr or even speaking with an accent.
  • Write out a fantasy or short erotic story involving yourself and your lover. Weave in words and phrases you find arousing (from above). Read the story out loud to yourself using different types of voice to see which versions you find most arousing.
  • Write out a list of sexual compliments (e.g. “I love the way you …”, “It feels so good when you …”) and desires (e.g. “I want your hot tongue …”, “Use your fingers to …”). Say them out loud the way you envision using them. You may actually want to practice these while masturbating to feel how the words add to your arousal.

Once you feel confident with your aural skills, here are some ways to use erotic talk to spice up your sex life:

  • While in a public situation, seductively whisper how you want to ravish your lover. Build the anticipation with naughty ideas that might just come true before you actually get home.
  • Use erotically encouraging words to describe exactly what you want and need to reach an intense orgasm. Hearing your own words can be extremely exciting too.
  • When internet dating, your first phone call is extremely important. A seductive voice and flirtatious words can stimulate an intense desire and sense of attraction for you.
  • Engage in phone sex with your partner when you are apart (or even in separate rooms). Keep long distance relationships hot and passionate.
  • Leave naughty voice messages that will make your lover rush home craving your touch.
  • Record a sexy story or fantasy on your computer and download it to your lover’s MP3 player or iPod. Since many play videos now, you can even use a webcam to record a sexy video of yourself telling the erotic story.
  • Stimulate your lover’s erotic imagination while you are making love. With their eyes closed, take them into a fantasy with your voice.
  • When engaging in soft bondage play using a blindfold, use your voice to tease and tantalize your submissive lover. Describe what you are going to do before you do it (or surprise them and do something total unexpected).

Remember that you are using dirty talk to excite both your self and your lover. However, keep in mind that, for some people, certain words have emotional triggers to bad memories. If you do hit a nerve, learn from each other and adapt. When you are open and honestly communicate about sex, you will both feel empowered and more willing to express your erotic desires. Learn to make love with words and you will be able to ignite sexual fireworks with hot mental foreplay.

Discover how you can use the power of your voice to build sexual tension, increase passion and even trigger intense orgasms with almost hypnotic control. You will be amazed at the sexual pleasures you unleash when you unlock the secrets of talking dirty.

For more information, click Secret Arts of Hot Erotic Talk.

For ideas to spice up your relationship and enjoy more exciting sex, get Frisky Foreplay the erotic dice game for couples.

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Erotic Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas



Erotic Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas
By Sean Christopher

While erotic gifts are hot at any time of year, a red-hot erotic Valentine’s Day gift will be sure to set the stage for steamy play with your lover. Remember that a gift is not erotic in itself no matter what it is, but it becomes erotic simply because you yourself are erotic and deeply thoughtful. You think to give it because it’s a secret you and your lover will share.

Most of the gifts that follow you can easily purchase online or at a shop at your local mall. Some are classic and some require a little forethought and preparation, but that’s part of the fun. Use your imagination and add your own surprising twists. A great idea coupled with your own creativity is sure to please.

  1. Exotic Scented Massage Oil–You can buy it off the shelf, online or find a bath shop specializing in oils that will create a massage oil blended to your own preferences. What happens after the massage is up to you!
  2. Erotic Literature For Two–There are some great erotic writers producing steamy drama that you and your lover can enjoy together. Curl up together with a glass of wine, some cheese, a hot erotic book and read aloud. Search Amazon or the erotic literature section at your local bookstore for ideas.
  3. Dark Chocolate Syrup With An Artist’s Brush–Valentines Day is incomplete without chocolate. Add a sexy twist with chocolate as an artistic medium. There’s no telling who will have more fun, the artist or the canvas with this gift. A masterpiece of body art, once admired, leaves but one option to follow.
  4. Silk Japanese Kimono–Find them online or in import and clothing exchange shops. Kimonos are not only beautiful with fine-feeling silk fabric decorated with zen-like colors and designs, but also exotic and erotic conjuring Tantric imaginations for the wearers.
  5. An Evening Of Taste And Touch–Plan your own erotic Valentine’s evening at home or secure a cottage. Create an atmosphere of music, lights, fabrics and pillows in your own erotic circle. Prepare a parade of taste sensations with appetizers, beverages and desserts to enjoy together in your lovers’ nest. Relax. Eat. Touch. Love.
  6. An Erotic Toy–A brand new high quality sex toy as an erotic Valentine’s Day gift just demands to be used as soon as possible. An attractive vibrator or classy dildo for her or an artistic cock ring or quality masturbator for him is sure to inspire endless ideas for love.
  7. Erotic Poetry From The Heart–Everyone is a poet. Some of us are just out of practice. Remember poetry doesn’t have to rhyme, but it should be emotional, very personal and dignified. Check out E E Cummings for inspiration. Write or have an artistic friend letter your poem beautifully on quality paper or a card.
  8. An Arrangement Of Candles–Candlelight has it’s own erotic moods and qualities. Use your creative juices to arrange candles on a tray, throughout a room or even the entire house. Tea lights or votive candles in varying colored holders provide an almost limitless pallet. Once the candles are aflame, your passions will also ignite.
  9. Steamy Bath For Two–Gather a variety of luxurious bath products: a loofa, scented soaps, oils, salts and throw in a kinky package of soap crayons or body paints and let your erotic imagination go wild. If you can secure a rubber ducky, let him loose beneath the bubbles and see what happens!
  10. An Erotic Game–Some great minds have invented seriously fun and creative sex games bent on getting couples tangled in passionate sex. They’re available in shops and on the web as well as in some e-books filled with endless ideas. Alternatively, pick up a game of Twister, oil one-another up and place your bets on who’s left standing!

Sean Christopher writes about sexuality and culture. Read his newest book Orgasmic Guy: Unleash the Hidden Truth. Sean’s books, articles, resources and his blog OG Talk: Sane talk about male sexuality can be found by visiting

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So You’re Shy About Writing That Erotic Scene?

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By R.D. Wylder

That’s totally understandable. Just because you may be indulging in it yourself doesn’t mean that you’re comfortable writing about it. Most people aren’t, and it’s a problem that even long established writers sometimes have to contend with. It’s difficult to make public something that you believe should remain private, but there’s no reason to be afraid of writing erotic content. It is possible to stay within your own comfort zone and still create a memorable scene. If you’re looking for advice on creating pornographic material, then this article is not for you, as such work is often not burdened by the intricacies of an elaborate plot or a need for character development.

The first thing you need to take into consideration when writing erotic content is whether or not it’s actually necessary to your storyline. Many successful titles have practically no erotic content whatsoever, while others stop just shy of showing their characters in a sexual light. However, depending on the type of story you’re working on, your readers might expect at least one erotic scene and be quite disappointed should it not be there. A breezy romance can get away with being PG-13, but no one’s going to believe in a femme fatale who doesn’t seduce anyone.

At the same time, it’s important to not just throw something in there out of the blue. You may end up subjecting your readers to their own form of creative whiplash, and you won’t be marketing your ability to come up with a cohesive storyline very well either. Once you make the decision to include erotic content in your work, you have to commit to making it believable. That’s what will draw readers in and allow them to experience it along with your characters. You need to have a proper build up based on some degree of sexual tension and attraction.

Alright, so you’ve made it clear that your characters are attracted to each other and now it’s time for the main event. How far do you go? That’s up to how far you’re willing to potentially extend yourself out of your comfort zone, but it’s important not to leave anything half done. Your readers may end up feeling cheated if they’ve psyched themselves up that this is finally going to happen. You have a chance to make your characters real as a sexual encounter is perfect for bringing out vulnerabilities and emotions. Draw from your personal experiences. What do you think is tasteful? What would you like to read? You’ve created the characters. You’re in the best position to determine how they would do whatever they’re doing.

Be careful though. If you’re writing for an adult magazine then you can be as graphic as you’d like. If not, then try to avoid words and phrases that are likely to leave the majority of your readers feeling squeamish. As far as possible, use the appropriate names for body parts etc. as some alternatives can run the risk of being offensive. You may not think it but an extensive vocabulary is actually a plus when it comes to writing erotic content. It can be crucial in steering you away from the ‘over used cliches’ pitfall that plagues many a romance writer. For example, unless they’re planning on tossing a piano through the window, there shouldn’t be any talk of anything ‘heaving’.

Remember, once you’ve thrown a sexual light on your characters, you can’t undo it. In order to keep that sense of reality, your characters will have to deal with the consequences of their actions. So what are the key points of writing erotic content?

Decide if it’s necessary.

Make sure you have a proper build up.

Pay attention to the scenery, but don’t spend pages and pages describing it.

Don’t spend pages and pages on the scene either or your readers will be bored, not excited.

Keep your characters in character.

Write what you know (or else do a ton of research)

Tasteful is always better than down and dirty (unless that’s what you’re going for)

Stay away from cliches like ‘heaving bosoms’.

Tidy up any loose ends.

Have fun.

That’s right, have fun with it. You’re writing about something that should be pleasurable. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy it too. No one’s saying that you need to go beyond what you’re comfortable with, but there’s no reason to let your shyness hold you back either. Take a look at some of the works by your favourite authors and see how they went about creating their erotic content. That can be a great starting point for you to come up with your own scenes.

R.D.Wylder is a part time freelancer and amateur author. In her spare time, she writes poetry and short stories. She also runs her personal site dedicated to original lesbian fiction.

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The Eros of Writing



By Julianne Bentley

“How did a nice girl like you start writing smut?”

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question… Well, let’s just say it’s a popular one, especially when the subject comes up at parties.

Instead of answering directly though, I like to take a step back. See, I’ve been reading erotica ever since my well-meaning grandma gave me a stack of paperbacks with significantly more risqu� sex scenes in them than was probably appropriate for a teenager. The first erotica I read which labeled itself as such was for a class in college and I’ve been hooked ever since. After reading everything I could get my hands on without actually visiting an “adult bookstore” and then discovering the unlimited supply of smut on the internet, I came to a shocking realization – a lot of erotic writing was utter crap. And by that I mean it was both abysmally written and poorly edited, and a lot of it didn’t turn me on.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. But for a long time, I didn’t know what, exactly, I wanted to write. So I wrote poetry, some of it on sexual themes (ok, most of it). I wrote bits and pieces of historical romances, usually just the “good parts” before I got bored. One day, after reading a particularly awful collection of stories, I decided to write down one of my fantasies and see if I could do any better – I knew I couldn’t do worse.

Armed with the courage that simply by my knowledge of human physiology and how to use both a dictionary and a semicolon I was bound to be a better writer than some people who actually managed to get published, I set out to write my lover a story for Valentine’s Day.

Wow – it was a lot more difficult than I’d thought it would be. And yes, rereading that particular story now makes me cringe; however, I do still think it was better than the stories I was trying to surpass. So I kept at it, mostly writing very short stories, like those I enjoyed reading. Occasionally I borrowed a theme or a plot and re-worked it to my satisfaction when a story I’d read had a disappointing ending. I wrote out my fantasies. I wrote about things I’d never ever do, to see if I could get into the characters’ heads and make a particular sexual act or kink hot for my readers. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. I talked to other authors in my community online. We talked about what made a story hot, what ruined otherwise wonderful stories, and how some things transcend taste and could be considered general rules for writing erotica, whatever genre or flavor.

In the course of all this writing and thinking, I learned a few things.

I learned that there is value in both reading and writing erotica/smut/porn. Reading about sex, in a fun, non-clinical way, frees up the creative part of the brain to explore new paths. It encourages you to play with and explore new fantasies, new sexual ideas. To try on new concepts, explore what you like and why, what you don’t and why not.

Also, while it was always difficult for me to talkabout sex, writing forced me to find and become comfortable with a sexual vocabulary. Once I was more at ease thinking and writing the words, they became far easier to speak aloud and to ask for what I wanted, explicitly. My inhibitions and shyness began to melt away as my sense of shame regarding sexual acts decreased. After all, if so many other people were reading and writing about such things, they couldn’t be that rare and I couldn’t be that much of a weirdo for wanting to try them, right?

Another benefit of writing about or verbalizing your thoughts and fantasies is that it makes sex more tangible. When you stimulate your mind and start thinking about sex, pondering its complexities and possibilities, you’ll be far more open to noticing and acting on sexual impulses when you feel them. I firmly believe that thinking about sex, fantasizing and being receptive to possibilities, seriously increases your likelihood of having a spectacular sex life!

One of the things I like best about writing sexually explicit content is that since I’m already breaking the rules and going against societal norms, I can take control of how I’m presenting sex. For me that means that I can be sex positive rather than sex negative. I write about characters doing all kinds of kinky things, but it’s alwaysconsensual. If boundaries are over-stepped, I make my characters deal with it, rather than everything just being magically all right. My characters use condoms and have reasonably safe sex. While I do occasionally write on themes that are a bit heavy, the majority of my erotica is plot-free, angst-free, and more humorous than romantic.

Finally, both reading and writing erotica has taught me about the power of names. With sex, so many of our words are silly or childish or crude or negative. Even the decision of what to call my writing is a bit of a landmine and changes with my mood – is it erotica (which conjures swooning maidens in historical settings) or smut (image of a Bible-thumping preacher) or porn (the bleach-and-spunk smell of the back rooms in an adult bookstore)?

If you’ll excuse me for playing fast and loose with etymology: if the prefix “porn-” comes from the goddess Porne, an incarnation of Aphrodite dedicated exclusively to sexual pleasure and lust, the kind of lust that has a voyeuristic edge or intent to titillate. And if “titillate” means to tickle, then porn is about being tickled. Porn is erotica is smut is something I read that gives me little tingles in my body. Not exclusively in the naughty bits, but all over. Something that makes me feel my flesh, reminds me that I have a body between my shoulders and knees, that I’m not just a brain in a jar sitting in front of a computer, typing.

Erotica is something that makes me feel alive, in a visceral way. Something that reminds me that I have a body, that my body is me.

On that note, check out my website Recommendations page, which has several erotica/smut links to both actual in-print books and other websites that I’ve enjoyed. Check out a few of them and see what you think. Ponder new possibilities.

And heck, try writing some of them down – maybe you’ll be the next famous erotica author!

© 2008 Julianne N. Bentley All Rights Reserved.

Julianne Bentley, the original Wanton Hussy, works with individuals (and couples) who want to bring the passion and joy back into their bedrooms.

Drawing on over fifteen years of experience discussing the ins and outs of sexuality, in all its forms, Julianne brings compassion and energy to the process of supporting you in making the changes you need in order to have the sex life you want and deserve.

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